Welcome To My Hell

It is now officially spring break. While my students are off to the lands of the Caribbean or Florida, I'm stuck here in the cold and snow. I should be watching my beloved Red Sox down in their spring training camp, but my schools decided to have breaks at different times. Thank you for that fun bit.

Since I won't be basking under the Florida sun, I instead will spend this next week grading all the lovely and supposedly brilliant papers written by my students. Unfortunately, their version of "brilliant" and my version are very, very different. As I am skimming through the stack o' hell papers, I am noticing a few things that should not be done in a history paper:

• Henry VIII should not be referred to as a "man-whore"
• The word pharaoh is not spelled "faro"
• Heck, the whole not using spell-check thing is just not cool
• Multiple paragraphs are a Good Thing, not just one long one
• See above but change "paragraph" to "sentence"
• Copying and pasting my notes into your paper is a Bad Thing
• Using freeessay.com will only give you an F in my class (thank you Turnitin.com)
• Handing in a paper that you wrote for me in another class just pisses me off and you will get an F on this version.

Oh this is going to be such a fun week. Fucking hell.